Wisdom teeth and unwise decisions

Kevin, sir, I had my wisdom teeth yanked out of my skull this week. OK, I only have 1/2 my wisdom teeth yanked out of my skull. The pain is gone. In fact, there was more pain before they were yanked than since. Just laid me up for a day or so and I haven't eaten solid food in two days. Going to do burritos today though come hell or high water. Just might take me a while to do it.

Speaking of unwise decisions (I wasn't? Well, I am now), what's with business distancing themselves from celebrities. Everyone by now has heard of Owen Wilson's suicide attempt this past week. I won't get into it. What I have to say is about the love and support he's been given... not.

Owen Wilson's name was being used by Vespa USA as an endorsement for their scooters. As for today (Aug 31, 2007) they have removed his name. Is this just bad timing? Did Owen just asked to be taken off the endorsement list and they just happen to get around to it this week? Yeah, sure, that's it.

Before:

After:

Kick a guy while he's down, why don'cha? I'd think it would be a better PR move to say they hoped he got better soon or were behind him during this troubling time in his life or, frankly, just ignore it, than to openly remove him from product marketing.

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Kevin you're doing Battlestar Galactica?

I just read the interview over at AOL and can't believe this: Kevin Smith is doing Battlestar Galactica. You're getting lined up with another great sci-fi television show. First you started Reaper, then Heroes, and now BSG.

BSG is simply amazing television. I can't wait for the season to restart. I've got some friends working on the visual effects for BSG (don't ask, I can't tell you anything about the upcoming season). It will be interesting to see what you bring to the show even if it is only one episode.

Well, without further ado here's part of the interview:

Will we see you doing more TV?

I know that I'm going to go up and direct an episode of 'Battlestar Galactica,' which I'm kind of stoked about. It's cool, but it is scary because it is like, "What the f---? I can't bring anything to that show." That show is genius and they have a very distinctive visual style.

But you are safe as a kitten. If you go in there and say, "I'm going to shoot everything in one big master shot," they'll go, "No you're not, because that is not what we do on 'Battlestar Galactica.'" I guess it is more about performance-oriented stuff, but at the same time that cast is top notch. How do you f----- direct Mary McDonnell?

I'm bummed that she didn't get an Emmy nod.

That whole cast is so spectacular and the fact that they haven't been singled
out is just bizarre. At the same time they finally got some writing nods, which
was good.

This is the final season of 'Battlestar,' so it is extra cool that you
get to direct one.

It's cool as someone who is a big fan and a supporter of the show to get up there and do one before they are all done. When I was up there shooting 'Reaper,' we shot on the same lot as ['Galactica'] and even though they weren't in production, our production designer was a production designer on 'Battlestar Galactica' so the dude was able to get me on the sets and show me everything. I walked around the Galactica [ship] and whatnot. But now to go back in a different capacity is more nerve-wracking. it is more fun to just walk around and be like, "Holy shit, that's the colonial viper." Then it is to be like," Alright, how are we going to shoot this colonial viper scene?"

Did they tell you anything about your episode?

Not yet. That was the first thing I asked, "Hey man, can I get a script?" and they are like, "It's not ready yet." I'm just hoping to be able to see some stuff in advance. If they'll show me every episode up until that point that would be incredibly helpful for my episode, but more incredibly helpful for me as a fan.

No mushy-gushy stuff.

Kevin Smith, sir, I had an interesting conversation with my daughter last night. She's eight, just like Harley. In fact they were born less than two months apart.

Anyway, the conversation went like this:

"Daddy, when Hollywood discovers you only make movies I can watch. Nothing scary and no mushy-gushy stuff. If you need ideas you can come to me."

I like the fact she used the word when, not if. That means it's going to happen, sir. My little girl is watching out for me.

Of course I have always taken this type of advice. While I don't write children's stories, per se, I try to keep it family oriented without being juvenile. Stuff the adults will enjoy but not quickly throw their hands over their children's ears or eyes, PG or PG-13 stuff. Maybe even a G rating or two (although that seems to be the death of a film these days unless its animated).

Well, my baby girl is watching out for her Daddy just like I'm sure yours looks out for you.

Whoops, I did it again...

I know that's not the lyric. I'm just berrating myself for missing a day in my ongoing dialog. I hope, the Kevin Smith people over at View Askew Productions stumble across this or read your public email and pass along my letters.

Writing everyday is just hard. It's hard enough as a screenwriter to spend every day writing so let me just admit. I don't. Somedays I spend researching what I'm writing. Somedays I spend working on my production schedules. And somedays, like today, I spend in the editting room.

As I mentioned earlier this month, Room 602 is in the can. I outlined the project and even handed off a Super Rough Cut, yes, it was more rough than rough, to my editor. I then went over his rough Monday. Ouch. So we spent today editting and getting the project back on track with my vision. It's looking good sir. You know, a comedy just isn't a comedy when you leave out gags, jokes, and visuals that are there to get a laugh out of the audience. When entire scenes are missing (don't get me started) that move the plot along, what's left just doesn't make sense. But, as I said, its already looking better. Hopefully by this weekend we have a real rough cut and can work on cleaning up sound, laying in the music, and rotoscoping out those freakin' shadows that show the camera.

So now I'm getting ready for my next one. Its a ultra-short for a film contest coming up in a couple months. Here's the concept poster... shh...

Never a good idea to attack the dude with the microphone!

Just finished watching an excerpt from your ComicCon presentation. You signed off with "Never a good idea to attack the dude with the microphone!" How true this is. Well, only if the dude with the microphone is eloquent, quick of wit, and funny as all hell. Props to you, sir.



Speaking of funny, eloquent folks, I didn't write this weekend because it was my 17th wedding anniversary and the wife and I went out. OK, that's not the funny, eloquent part. We saw Eddie Izzard, that's the funny, eloquent part. His act has changed a little from his "executive transvestite" days, but still insightful and funny as hell. His take on religion was as inspiring and humerus as Dogma.

Did I say humerus? Damn, humerus is like... like... like Weird Al Yankovic tunes these days. Funny, but not rolling on the floor laughing my ass of funny. Dogma and Eddie Izzard are much closer to ROFLMAO than Weird Al.



We won't talk about what happened on the ride home or once we got home since the kids were at friends for the rest of the night. Let's just say we performed some moving violations.

Three films and counting...

Well, I made a promise to myself this past May that I would do three films this year. I had done two in 2006 so I figured I'd try and pump that up this year. In fact I worked with Jason Mewes (among many other famous folks) last year on Netherbeast, Incorporated.

Well, Mr. Kevin Smith, sir, looks like I'm going to beat that number in just six months. I've already put two films in the can and have a third scheduled for late September. Add to that two potential other films this year and I'm rockin', although I'm really waiting for that one break out hit (mine or someone else's).

By the way, I meant what I said about Jennifer producing. Tell her to think about it.

Zach and Miri Make a Porno? Take the blue pill...

Kevin Smith, sir, where for art thou?

That's just there for the search engines, sir. Gotta keep you coming back for more.

Just watched your interview with AOTS about, among other things, Zach and Miri Make a Porno. Man, you're getting enough pre-release, no, pre-production hype for this as The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. OK, at least I was privy to that one and really wanted to see it. I guess what I'm saying is that there is already tons of talk about this and even getting a page from the script published in Entertainment Weekly before it actually gets made.

That's gotta be some pressure. I mean there is so much pressure to perform that I'd expect that Zach needs to pop a few blue pills just to get it up. You'll need fluffers (look it up people, I'm not linking to that one) on press junkets. I can hear the bam-chika-wah-wah music now to keep things in the mood.

Just a little funnin' with you, sir. I know you can pull this off with all the witty, irreverent humor that you are known for.

So, while you're working away on Zach and Miri how about Jennifer, your lovely bride, takes a crack at producing a movie she said she always wants to see and never finds. One that reminds her of Alias and the reason she fell in love with that series.

A strong, take no prisoners, female action movie with humor and
heart. A story about a widowed soccer mom who, struggling to make
ends meet, turns to the only line of work she has ever been any good at:
contract killer. And then top it all off with the fact that her deceased
ex-husband turns out to be not-quite-so, kidnaps their daughter, and forces mom
to fight for the daughter's life.

Throw into the mix lots of hilarity, some keystone criminals, and kick ass action... what more could you want?

Call me, sir.

The older we get the faster we age

Wow, some days life just sneaks up on you and, BAM!, your personal time stream just accelerates and suddenly its three days later.

OK, so that sounds a little extreme (or whacked out or at least fan-boyish). This weekend was my daughter's birthday. She turned eight and so the day was hers. After that it was the first day of school.

My son moved into Middle School this year; taking the bus for the first time since we no longer live close enough for him to walk. So the day was filled with that parental anxiety that comes with wanting a child to grow up and not.

I've sure, Kevin, you've experienced it with Harley. If not, don't worry sir, it's coming. There will be a day (OK, let's be honest MANY days) in which you find yourself tearing your hair out, literally and figuratively, over allowing your daughter to grow up.

Heck, this weekend was with my young man. I can't imagine the ulcer I'm going to get with my little princess...

No wonder we seem to age faster the older we get.

End of a long day

Hey Kevin, its the end of a long day of hosting a writing seminar and prepping for my little girl's birthday party. There comes a time when birthday's just seem to go by like any other day, but at her age they come oh so slowly and then are gone in an instant.

Remember those days? Planning for weeks. Making list after list of what you'll do, who'll be there, what you'll get.

Wait, you did just plan for weeks. Made lists of what you'll do, who'll be there. Guess there's hope that birthday's don't have to just fly by with age. Maybe I'll do something big for my 40... got my wife's second 39th to plan first.

Wanna come to a birthday party in Phoenix?

My Breaking Point

Ok, we're at the breaking point (or at least I'm going to call it that for lack of anything else to write about). I've been writing letters to you, Kevin, for 11 days now, everyday. I'll keep going, don't worry.

Well, I'm gearing up to listen to this week's Smodcast, but I have to finish my TWIT.tv podcast. Turns out the folks at Revision3 are building studios. Internet Startups that now do online television. The geeks are coming to hollywood, but will Hollywood let them?

Maybe one or two, but then they'll take the attitude of "not developed here." Well, that's my prognostication anyway. Which, actually, serves the silicon valley guys right. They have, for years, taken the attitude of "not developed here." If the Internet company isn't based in San Francisco or New York, its not really an Internet company... or so I've been told far too often.

San Francisco is full of people funding the simplest online gadgets with millions of dollars. Its just like the late nineties all over again.

Well, I made my choice to live in Phoenix, AZ and, so, I will continue to make it work in my little version of Jersey. Of course you finally left Jersey too, eh?

Maybe I'll just build my own studio...

I died yesterday.

To Kevin Smith and whatever of his people monitor his email:

Low and behold I woke up to this news alert on me. Luckily it wasn't me, but its a sobering experience to wake up to your own obituary. It turns out Jon Bonnell, Jr died when he stepped on an improvised explosive device in the Al Anbar province of Iraq.

Now, I was no where near Iraq, and I'm not making light of this soldier and his family. It was just very eye opening to see my own name and realize how close to home our excursion in Iraq is.

Yes, I called it an excursion. To our brave soldiers over there trying to do their job it's a war. To the rest of us its a mistake (less than 30% of Americans support the war according to a recent CNN poll).

I don't have friends stationed over there, at least that I know of, but August 8, 2007 is the day of my death and the day that brought the war into my life.

Peace be with the family of Sgt. Jon E. ‘‘J.J.’’ Bonnell, Jr. I am truly sorry for your loss. Jon is survived by his father, Jon Bonnell Sr., his mother, Denise Rork; sisters Sara Bonnell, Brandy Rork and Tasha Rork; and grandmother Donna Bonnell, all of Fort Dodge, IA.

Nothing else matters today.

Birthday Parties and Editors

Just saw your weekly blog post (haven't gotten around to downloading the smodcast yet). Looks like fun was had by all in Jersey this past weekend. I really should get to planning my wife's birthday... it's the big one. The one that comes after 39. The one where superpowers kick in and stop all the clocks in the universe at precisely 11:59 PM so that it never comes. You have put me to shame, sir, with 6-9 months planning for your birthday bash.

Just delivered the footage, all indexed and note ridden, to my editor. Says I should have a rough cut in 4-5 days. Snoggans! OK, no, really he did say that. I did my Super Rough Cut last night just to see pacing and length. Good thing I did. Had to actually flip two scenes because of performance, they didn't flow together right anymore, and also discovered that we're in ADR for the very last line in the freakin' film. C'est la vie. Could have been worse.

So, given any thought to that action movie I have sitting around waiting for the right producer. The one that your lovely bride (pictured above next to your mug) would really sink her teeth into. The one about a strong woman who kicks ass, takes names, and still gets her kid to dance rehearsal on time? Come on, Soccer Mom / Contract Killer, what better combination is there?

How is it making television?

Wow, day eight, sir. I'm on Day eight of sending you emails, and posting them online at From One Fat Writer to Another. Some days its a chore to come up with something to write about. I'm sure its a chore for you to read as well. But I'll keep at it with the hope of getting a call, a letter, or just a comment.

Now that my latest film is off to the editor its time to get back to working on that graphic novel. Concept art only goes so far, eh?

MyndSparc: Navajo Dreams is both a modern day and futuristic tale encompassing the big hollywood industry, virtual reality, and the Navajo mythos. Yeah, it sounds big, and it is. Which is why I'm doing this as a graphic novel first, and no the tentpole production that it could be... or television show.

I see you're doing television now? Actually TWO shows. Heroes: Origins and Reaper. How do you like it? The prospect of getting to tell one of my stories week after week just makes me drool... the premiss of MyndSparc makes for television that can change its appeal from week to week without ever changing who or what it is. Flexibility is in the definition of the show.

Screenwriters unite!

Well, sir, tonight was the monthly meeting of the IFP/PHX Screenwriters. Did I say I was the local director of IFP/PHX Screenwriters? Guess not.

Screenwriters are such a solitary lot. Why? Why do they not come out and play? Is it some primal instinct that makes us want to hide in our caves and draw on the walls? At least I've traded in my charcoal for a laptop, eh?

I love to get out and meet other writers and film makers, but it's like pulling teeth to get other writers to do the same. Sure, we have a few regulars, but quite often we'll have as many new people as regulars and then they climb back into their caves for a few months before reemerging.

Don't they get that it takes pressing the flesh as much as pressing the keys to get anywhere in this business?

So, Kevin, sir, I'm pressing the virtual flesh (damn, that is a keyboard isn't it) trying to network with you.

It's a wrap!

There's only one thing more satisfying than wrapping a film and that's actually seeing it on the screen. OK, technically there are a ton of things more satisfying than wrapping a film (Sex springs instantly to mind and I'm sure I can come up with a few more things).

That all said, we wrapped filming on Room 602 this afternoon. Hotel we were shooting in has new management (they were purchased by a large hotel chain that starts with an M and ends in a 'ot'). The new managemot (like how I did that?) decided to lecture me on "proper" practices for shooting at their hotel. After the litany of items that we "forgot" he just decided that if I give him a free copy of the film when its done he'll approve everything and we'll be OK.

So I shook his hand, thanked him for being so understanding, and walked back upstairs and finished shooting our last two scenes.

A year ago we didn't have these issues in Phoenix, but since Hollywood has discovered Phoenix (and it's tax incentives for shooting here) all our local hotels have suddenly started exercising fees, fees, and more fees.

In fact, we got kicked from our original location on the day we were SCHEDULED to shoot there. And when I say scheduled, I had met with management four times over the previous three weeks, including the night before we were supposed to shoot. They had given me tours and taken my reservations. I had explained we were shooting a film. Left my business cards and STILL the hotel decided last minute to create a new channel of bureaucracy of which no one informed me (and I had met with three managers, one twice). Makes me want to shoot EVERYTHING guerrilla.

Hope the prom went well, and Happy Birthday again, Kevin.

It's late, I'm tired, what a great filming day!

Well, its late. I've been up since 4 AM, on set since 6 AM, and shooting since 9 AM. Great day. Got ahead of schedule, filmed two extra scenes so we're starting tomorrow off ahead of schedule as well, how's that for skill (or luck or just a great freakin' cast and crew)?

No, don't say it was bad scheduling because we covered about 7 pages in nine hours of shooting. Not bad, and that includes two action scenes.

I'd write more, sir, but I need to get some sleep before I start over again tomorrow.

G'night.

Prom in August!

Well, its the Friday of your big Prom / birthday blowout. Hope it's turning out to be the event of the year for you. I missed my prom too, 20 years ago. Went to my girlfriends prom instead, but it just wasn't the same. Especially when folks talk about it like you were there.

I've got no clue what it was like and I didn't know anyone at the one I attended. C'est la vie.

But this brings me to another point. Yes, I can get to a point with a strange lead in like a prom... wait, no, I really can't. Don't know where I was going, but it did give me a chance to get started.

Kevin, sir, I want advice from the master. Getting noticed, getting produced, getting famous (well, almost famous). Hell, screw the fame, I just want to see my work up there. I'm producing my own work, but that's for little stuff. For the big one I'm just going to need help.

Remember, I have a project that your wife will love: a soccer-mom, contract killer trying to save her little girl's life. Strong willed, kick ass woman as the lead. What more could Mrs. Smith want? And why would you want to disappoint her? Jennifer, you really will love this.

OK, back to the production schedule. I shoot in the morning!

Happy Birthday, sir!

Happy Birthday, sir!

On this day in 1970 in Red Bank, New Jersey was born the king of clerks, the sultan of swearing, the grand poo-bah of silence: Kevin Smith.

You once said, "There's something to be said for failing. It's not the failure you feel, it's the failure that people project when something disappoints."

I'll have to say you are right. Its not the fear of failure that ever haunts me. Its the fear of disappointment coming from those you love and care about (and then those millions that love and care about you... wait, I don't have millions... yet).

But, I had to just pull up my bootstraps... "A loop of leather or other material sewn at the side or top rear of a boot to help in pulling the boot on." Which makes this a cowboy reference so "Yippee-Ki-Yay-Mother fucker" -- I just love Bruce and John McClain is the man... sorry, I digress.

Where was I? Oh yeah, bootstraps. So I pulled up my bootstraps and disappointment be damned. After all, I'm a father of a twelve year old, I'm gearing up for being a disappointment to my son for, oh, five to six more years. What have I got to lose?

My wife loves me, god only knows why, and my daughter idolizes me... she's not old enough to be embarrassed by her old man walking around in his boxers. So right now is my best time. Everyone loves me and doesn't care if I make a fool of myself or totally botch this up. And I didn't ask for an investor in this film, they approached me. So, again, its their risk, not mine, right?

OK, you don't want to poison the well -- another western reference "Yippee-Ki-Yay-Mother Fucker" -- so that's one person you definitely have to be aware of disappointing. Damn. So, on top of everything else, I make sure my investors have fun. This is about movies and the dream and having fun... not business, not yet anyway.

And that brings me to my point (took a freakin' long time, eh). Let's have fun! I've actually got a screenplay that your wife would love: female version of Luc Besson's The Professional with a strong female lead that does whatever it takes to save her daughter.

Let's talk...

Smodcast, your wife, and ComicCon

Hello sir,

I figured that I would make this a daily regiment or therapy, if you will, regardless of whether you are reading my diatribes or not.

So just got done listening to your latest smodcast. Your wife was on the whole time and you talked about ComicCon.

Ah, now there's the life.

Going to ComicCon and calling it business while having a blast. I haven't been to ComicCon since the late 90's. I've seen how it has changed (thanks to the ever growing media circus that covers it now online and on the air) and I miss it.

This year it came down to filming or attending and since I've got a cast and crew of volunteers I work around their schedule and I missed ComicCon.

Ah, hell, let's be honest. I just freaking forgot about it this year and scheduled the shoot over the same weekend.

But I digress, sir. Today I spent working out the shooting schedule for this weekend. Based on the setup times we had last weekend I knew we needed to reset the schedule. It's going to be one long day Saturday, but we'll pull through it with smiles on our faces.

It's amazing the FUN that a bunch of people can have working 14+ hour days from sunrise to well after sunset. I can see why you chose this profession, sir.

So, any suggestions on getting noticed?

From one fat writer that has to direct to see his stuff get made to another...

Originally sent July 31, 2007.

It will be a miracle if you read this, because I know you get slaughtered with emails daily, sir.

I'm an over weight, screenwriter that turned film maker just to see his stuff on the screen who also happens to be in the process of putting together a comic book... did I mention we're only two years apart in age?

We could be brothers, sir!

Living in sunny, Phoenix, AZ and loving it (my little Jersey for life) and dreading (and relishing) the day I have to move to LA.

Although I'd jump in the car and be there in six hours for the opportunity to meet, pick your brain, etc.

Maybe one of these days we'll sit side by side at an awards table.

Thanks for the minute out of your life!